Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Instead of texting . . .

I have so many things to say to you and to share with you. Going through a day without you in it leaves me uninspired to the point where my reduced vocabulary can only declare that it sucks.

Let me just say right off the bat that I am sorry I have driven you to a point where you have decided that I don't make you happy. That is the opposite of what I would like to be to you. It saddens and embarrasses me to learn that you think life will be better without me in it.

I have so much love for you. No one has ever connected with me and been inside me to the extent you have. That scares the hell out of me and leads to me closing up when I feel particularly vulnerable. I really need to work on that. I know.

But in the meantime, please know that I remain your fan. I deeply believe in you. I love your mind, your ideas, and your sense of style. No one has a better sense of humor nor a more refined eye for the absurd. You are beautiful and alluring and strong.

I haven't really slept since we spoke yesterday and I keep nervously checking my phone thinking you will type something.

Anyway, in the hopes that it will prevent me from losing my mind, I am going to use this space to "stay in touch" with you.

For now, let me just say that I love you and miss you.

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